Becoming Wise

I am a fool. I do very foolish things; my mouth often runs ahead of my mind. I also speak without knowledge or study about a subject. I have pondered how to correct my foolishness and here is a short list I work on in my quest to become a bit wiser.

1) Teach not Preach

I come off as opinionated; I have a bad habit of standing on the soapbox and preaching. I really need to work on teaching. What does teaching involve, however? First, teaching requires receptive students. In other words, I need to be silent unless someone comes to me with a question. The old Zen masters used this approach. A student that comes to a teacher often ( but not always) wants to learn. A teacher who looks for students will find few. Next, I have a bad habit of being patronizing. I naturally speak with terms people don’t normally use in my area. ( My immediate family all does). A good teacher challenges their students instead of patronizing. Finally, I need to remind myself that I know nothing. A good teacher is also a student. We do not know as much as we think we do.

2) Discard Pride

“When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.” Proverbs 11:2

I have a proud streak. I am proud that I am curious and don’t settle for answers. I am proud of my intelligence. Both show I lack wisdom. Humility is difficult to cultivate; it helps to remember that there are people who know more than I. It also helps to remind myself that I am terrible at sports or anything vocational. I can’t work with my hands outside of art. My sense of pride ties back into my habit of standing on the soapbox. I sometimes feel superior to “those who don’t work their mind such as I.” I don’t like thinking and feeling that way. It isn’t compassionate or right.

3) Age

“Wisdom belongs to the aged, and understanding to the old.” Job 12:12

I am young and haven’t had many experiences. I am pretty risk adverse too which limits my experiences further. Wisdom comes through experience. So time and experience comes to us as we live. Hopefully we can also learn from our mistakes. Mistakes are the best (and sometimes the most difficult) source for experience.

4) Listen and Consider Advice

I can, however, offset my age deficit by listening to the advice and experiences of those older than me.  History repeats because we fail to learn from her lessons. I may not be wise, but I can avoid some mistakes and problems by listening to those who’ve been there and done that. The advice of our elders isn’t always sound. We have different circumstances than they had. However, it is helpful to see their decision, why they decided, and the outcomes.

5) Don’t Consider Oneself Wise

“Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil.” Proverbs 3:7

It is easy to be blind to ourselves.  When we consider ourselves wise, we set ourselves up for failure. We don’t listen to anyone else, we preach, and consider ourselves righteous.  The truly wise don’t consider themselves wise because they realize they are still growing and changing.

6) Be Silent

“Do not speak, unless it improves silence” – Zen Proverb

Words can help and harm. When we speak impulsively we can hurt people deeply. Modern society is full of noise and words, but very little  improves silence. Much of what we see is hurtful or just vapid.  It is good to think before speaking. It is unfortunate in America we consider a delay in a response as disingenuous. I really need to work at this point.  Too often I speak before thinking my words through. I speak out of ignorance instead of contemplation. I don’t often improve upon silence.

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So why be concerned about wisdom? Wisdom helps you become a better and more compassionate person. It creates rich life; one that positively impacts other people.  Cultivating Wisdom also brings us closer to God:

“But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. ” James 3:17

The Elephant We Ignore

Periodically life reminds us of a few things. Namely, she makes us look at the elephant we ignore: impermanence.

Recently I lost my maternal grandfather. While I don’t ignore the elephant, I don’t necessarily consider her either. I feel time ticking by; every moment that passes is a moment of my life forever gone. Yet, still I squander it with entertainment and other fruitless things. My grandfather’s death underscores the passage of time.

It is my lack of mindfulness that bothers me most when I lose a loved one. I too will join them soon enough; so will all those dear to me: parents, siblings, friends, girlfriend, and finally myself. It is very easy to let time pass without holding it briefly with love and awareness before letting it flutter away.

I had many plans, but few of them had much fruit. I grow frustrated, and then Zen reminds me that my expectations are the source of my frustration. Hold onto the moment while it is alive and let it go.  Life simply is. There is no where to go. There is nothing else to be. There is nothing to do except breathe and smile.

There is no where to be other than here, now.

Mindful Basics in Everyday Life

Mindfulness is a pillar in Buddhist philosophy and good Christian ethics. Mindfulness is nothing more than awareness of the current moment. When we drink tea, we drink tea. When we hug someone, we hug someone. When we sit in a chair, we sit in a chair.  Mindfulness is performing an action without distraction, fully aware of our actions and our surroundings.

Unfortunately for us, we live in a world full of distractions.

Without mindfulness we live like a leaf being blown about by the wind.  We are constantly jostled about by external forces that all pull our minds this way and that.    Things like advertising, our jobs, our friends, our possessions: all these things vie for our attention all at once and can even overwhelm us at times.  Are these things bad?  Not at all!  They can be good and even wonderful, if viewed properly.  Sometimes though these things that make up our daily lives can make us suffer.  Sometimes they may not cause suffering but cannot be fully enjoyed because we don’t appreciate them fully, simply because we are not living in the present.

Beautiful Mundanity

A mundane life is no life at all.  The ordinary day to day life we lead is nothing but boredom and doldrums. Or so we often tell ourselves.  I hear it all the time: “I have no life!” or “I really need a life!”  We often create a lot of drama to “spice” up a rather dull life.  We indulge in behaviors that we may know are bad for us one way or another, simply to escape the boredom. Every day is the same: get up, shower, go to work, come home, eat dinner, housework, and  then go to sleep. Day in, day out.  Lather, rinse, repeat.

Retail Reflection

As the handful of my long time readers know, I work at a grocery store. As an introvert, dealing with the public constantly is exhausting for me. It is very difficult to act and think compassionately toward the mewling needy American populace constantly.

I often think to myself: well, Jesus and Buddha never worked retail.

The Possibility of Happiness

“Happiness is possible only when you stop running and cherish the present moment and who you are. Who you are is already a wonder; you don’t need to be someone else. You are a wonder of life.” -Thich Nhat Hanh

Happiness just seems so elusive anymore. There are so many troubles we deal with on a daily basis. Our biggest flaw is looking for happiness outside ourselves. True happiness cannot be bought. It is not found in a car or a doughnut. Happiness isn’t found on the bottom of a bag of potato crisps or in a book. True happiness, as Thich Nhat Hanh says, is in the act of cherishing.

All we have is this moment; all we have is the period at the end of this sentence. Time is a commodity in today’s world: falsely so. The awareness of the present moment is worth more than anyone can pay. You are worth more than anyone can pay. No one has existed in the history of the world like you exist now. You are a wonder, as Thich Nhat Hanh says. You are something grand simply because you are who you are. You are worthy simply because you are alive.

Happiness and your true self cannot be caught by pursuit. They are butterflies. Once you stop chasing and start cherishing this current, fleeting and precious moment, they will settle on your shoulder.

Common Seeds

There is good in everyone; it is up to us to find it.  Clichéd, but it is true. I know of many people who view others as being wholly “bad.” They may have been wronged by these people, and many of these “bad” people do have serious personal issues they need to work through.  It certainly doesn’t mean their entire existence is bad. Too many of us think with broad blanket labels (yes, this is a broad blanket label of itself). No one is wholly bad. People, by the virtue of simply being human, have seeds of good.

Time to Clear the Mental Desk

Lately, I have not been very mindful. I haven’t been meditating as I should. Backsliding is a very easy thing to do. There are many, many things that can interfere with healthy mindful thinking.  I have been busy lately with work, freelancing, appointments, and hobbies.  While these don’t stop me from being mindful, they are crowding my thoughts and distracting me from the blue sky and just breathing.

Defining Karma

There are a lot of misconceptions about karma floating around. Karma isn’t some spiritual debit and credit system that most people think about. You can’t create a bank account of goodness to make withdrawals. Certainly negative actions can create a debt of sorts but that isn’t karma. Karma also isn’t some type of cosmic justice system. Karma is just another name for plain old cause and effect.

Considering others

Retail often makes the practice of Zen difficult. The often childish nature of customers and employers slowly eat at the practitioner. I, at least, often expect people to behave more maturely. Of course, such work is also difficult for me because I have social anxiety and other social issues.

We must always remember that the blathering, loud, and often obnoxious customer is suffering. They wouldn’t be reacting so if they weren’t suffering in their life, after all. I often fail at this and move to my easy, old habit of demonizing or viewing that person as inherently obnoxious. The actions of the moment doesn’t define that person. They may be having a bad day, are in pain, or any host of difficulties. They are suffering.

Granted, when my back problems are acting up during a stressful day these thoughts are far out of reach.  Stealing a moment for myself tends to help. I turn to my breathing and focus for four breaths:

In. I release my stress.

Out. I relax my mind.

In. I see this person.

Out. I see their suffering.

I can’t always do this but trying is enough. Sometimes all I can do is project my current physical discomfort, like my back ache, onto them to generate some compassion.  The same technique works with co-workers and even bosses. The attachment to money causes owners to pressure managers. Who pass down their suffering to those who work under them.  Really, with how imminent death is for each of us the pursuit of money is very sad. This idea helps us have compassion for our stressed out managers and business owners; they are pursuing something that is a waste of time in the end. They are ignorant to what is truly important.

Zen is a simple practice but challenging to preform. Just remember not to be harsh on yourself for failures. I fail in mindfulness almost daily. I dislike loud noise and lots of people. Over time this makes me lose my touch with my calm center. It is only human to do so time to time. Just don’t give up your reach for the true, peaceful self.